The Joys of Higher Education

Well, another math test has come and gone, and as for all you ass holes out there who were suppose to be sending me positive auras, I'm PISSED. I mean did you ass holes finish your boxes of wine a few hours early this time and pass out? Did you decide that taking a little one on one shower time with your trouser snakes would be more important than my doing good on a math test for once? Whatever the case, I'm very disappointed in all of you.
I guess this means I'll be working at McDonald's after all. Which could be a blessing in disguise I suppose, what with the cheap, artery clogging food. Perhaps I'll even gain some weight for the first time in my life.
Holy shit, come to think of it, if I did that I could start to pump serious iron. The flimsy arms I now possess would grow to gigantic pythons; My Chest and stomach would be ripped; and I could go on the road as a professional body builder but leave halfway though the competition because I don't like the kind of person it makes me.
THEN I could travel around Cain style and fight crime in the dark alleys of random Canadian cities.
My God, how could my eyes have been blinded so? How could I not see how much I was wasting my time at these pointless medial studies?
Thank you my friends, for giving me the guidance I needed so badly.
But I must leave now, for the world is awaiting my help.
adieu comrades, adieu.
Nick